


2am where do I begin?

by 626ashleystarling



Series: Banana Idiots [1]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Cute Okumura Eiji, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Protective Ash Lynx, Self projection, Shorter Wong Needs a Hug, cuddly Eiji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27011596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/626ashleystarling/pseuds/626ashleystarling
Summary: What do you do, when you can't find a reason to live?
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji/Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Shorter Wong, Okumura Eiji/Shorter Wong
Series: Banana Idiots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971763
Comments: 6
Kudos: 72





	2am where do I begin?

**Author's Note:**

> The song in the title of the fic is The Lonely by Christina Perri.

"Can you shut up", he snapped at the radio.

The weatherman was just saying how it was a beautiful day with clear skies and all he wanted to do was destroy the radio. He was angry for no reason, but he wanted someone else to feel it. Like the selfish person he was.

He had a break from work today, and to celebrate, he threw himself down on the couch. He hasn't eaten breakfast yet, and it was three in the afternoon, but he wasn't hungry. He couldn't remember the last time he felt that way, hungry. He just wanted to sleep and not wake up. He couldn't sleep at all the night before, instead found himself hurling into the toilet. He told his boyfriends it was a stomach bug, not knowing if that was the case, and they spent their night taking care of him and still went to work today, while he had the luxury to stay home.

He was selfish.

As if the universe hated him, he was given a restless nap. He then found himself being kissed on the forehead by one of his partners. He felt no better after - according to the time on his phone - seven hours of sleep. Seven hours that did _nothing_.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better", he smiled, feeling fake, kissing his head. Making no effort to get up, he asked "Is that dinner I smell?"'

"Yeah, we just got home. Are you able to eat", his significant other questioned, his face filled with worry.

The smile on his face, as not to worry his boyfriend, didn't reach his eyes. "Nah, I think I'll pass."

"Did you eat anything today?"

"A large breakfast of toast and cheese", he joked.

"Lunch?"

"The bento you left me." Truthfully, he hid it in the back of the fridge, hoping to eat it before they got home, but he still wasn't hungry.

"Why would you wake the sleeping beauty", his other partner teased, giving each of them kisses on the cheek.

"Sleeping beauty would like to go back to sleep, so I'm heading to bed." He got up and walked away, hearing 'be careful' behind him.

~

Doctor White said this would help, writing down his feelings. As he sat at the table, scratching the page with the pen in anger, he thought about how _wrong_ he was.

He sat there for two hours and he didn't come up with _one_ reason to stay in this cruddy world. _Damn it._

The clock said two am, four hours since he went to bed and slept like a fish. His thoughts jumbled with the pros and cons of leaving, but at the moment, he could find no cons. Life was good, so good, and he took it for granted. He didn't deserve it. He drew the world ugliest butterfly on his hand. He didn't deserve that either. He got up and pulled on a random tee-shirt out the drawer; it was too dark in the bedroom to tell the color. Really, it was kind of redundant- him wanting to find light in the darkness. 

Glancing at the two figures in the bed, cuddling each other in their sleep, he couldn't help but smile. They were good people. _They_ did nothing wrong to the universe to deserve him. Kissing each softly on the head, as not to wake them, he told them a goodbye.

Or so he thought.

~

"The hell are you up for?"

He winced at the voice. He just grabbed the car keys in hopes to escape in silence, but he completely forgot his green eyed lynx-like boyfriend was a light sleeper, always on high alert.

And speaking of cats, Garnet, the grey tomcat, leaped into the bedroom, about to snitch on him to his raven haired partner. _Traitor._

"Shorter?"

He blinked at Ash. "Um...shopping."

"At two am?"

Eiji dragged himself out of the bedroom; by the look in his eyes, he wasn't fully in the waking world yet. "It cold. I sleepy. Back to bed. Please."

"You're the one who insists on wearing boxers and a tee to sleep every night."

"Watashi wa anata ga katta kayui zubon o chakuyō suru koto o kyohi shimasu", he mumbled. "Shorter, are you feeling good?"

Shorter nodded. "No worries! Just need to stop to the store for some cat food."

The blond raised his eyebrow in suspicion, but Eiji was already dragging back to the bed. "Come on..."

"Fine", Ash chuckled. Eiji turned back around and took Ash with him, but the blond looked at Shorter one more time. "Are you sure-"

"Go, before Eiji drop kicks you", Shorter sighed.

With clear reluctance, he followed Eiji to the bedroom and Shorter left the apartment.

~

Four am he was sitting in the car, facing the ocean. The engine was still running, and Shorter was facing the consequences of the action he wants to pursue. _Should I do this?_

His cellphone rang - heaven knows why he brought it. He was about to hit ignore when he saw who was calling: _Rì chū_.

"Hey Eiji, I'm coming home soon.", Shorter assured him.

Sniffing can be heard on the other end of the receiver. "Shorter...where are you?"

He gave a nervous chuckle. "The store Eiji."

"Liar, where are you?"

Sighing, Shorter leaned against the wheel of the car. "Eiji, I'm okay."

"That wasn't the question. _Where are you?_ "

The anger in his tone gave Shorter chills, but there was something else. _Fear_.

"Shorter, your therapy book is in shreds. It's four thirty in the morning and you went out for cat food we didn't need. _Two hours ago_. Where are you?

"I...I'm...I'm sorry Eiji."

"Shorter?!"

_Knock, knock_

Shorter looked up at his window. There, out of breath in what looked to be one of Eiji's hoodies, was Ash. He was wearing his glasses, which was now lopsided on his face. He pulled at the door handle, clearly wanting to get in.

"Shorter, are you there", Eiji cried; Shorter can see the tears running down his face.

"I'm...I'm here." Shorter kept eye contact with Ash. Did he really run all the way here?

"Please stop scaring me", he begged. "I don't...I don't want any bad to happen to you."

Ash knocked on the window again, this time looking much more agitated. Shorter gulped and slowly unlocked the door. He opened the door and jumped in so fast Shorter got whiplash. "Are you okay", the blond asked, cupping his cheeks. Swallowing hard, Shorter nodded. Eiji audibly sighed and hiccupped simultaneously.

"Why did you lie to me, why didn't you say you weren't alright", he inquired. Ash had Shorter caught between his legs; Shorter couldn't get out unless he wanted to fall out the car with him.

"I didn't think..." He fell silent for a moment, feeling trapped. Noticing this, Ash backed up as far as he could go, and hit the horn by mistake. Shorter jumped and started trembling, breathing becoming ragged. Ash froze a moment, before tentatively reaching out and touching his cheek. Shorter responded slowly by wrapping his arms around Ash and resting his head against his collarbone. "I didn't think it mattered."

"Damn straight it does, especially if you want to drive into the bay."

"Ash, don't be harsh", Eiji's whisper wavered through the phone.

The blond took a deep breath, then massaged Shorter's head. "Please don't lie to me again, I can't take it. Eiji can't either."

Shorter was still trembling. "I want to go home..."

"Okay." He picked up the phone, which Shorter dropped in the cup holder. "Eiji, I'm bringing him home. See you soon."

Shorter heard mumbling before Ash hung up. He released Shorter and guided him to the passenger's side. Then he drove them home, holding Shorter's hand the entire way.

Sometime before they reached the complex, Shorter broke down. He lowered his head and started sobbing, fat tears running down his cheeks. Ash eased his body to lean on him as he cried. "I know. It's isn't okay right now. You can cry, it'll get better."

As soon as they entered their apartment, Shorter slumped on the floor, emotionally exhausted. Ash knelt next to him and before he could manage to get him back up, Eiji rugby hugged them. Judging by the black lines on his face, Eiji was still wearing mascara from his shoot that day. Normally, Shorter helps him clean up after work.

"I'm so glad." Eiji pulled back to look at him. "Can I kiss you?"

After silent moment, Shorter nodded. With a small smile, Eiji gave him a chaste kiss, then a kiss on the forehead, before hugging him some more.

"I'm sorry Eiji", Shorter whimpered. He rubbed the mascara that stained his cheek. "I didn't help you clean up today."

"It's okay, clearly we need to change the bedsheets though", he sighed. Shorter smiled. Smiling was a good sign.

"Meow", a call came from behind Eiji. Leave it to the cat to steal the attention.

"Is the cat in a onesie?" Ash asked, glaring at Garnet in a blue cat sized top.

"Uh no, it's a hoodie", Eiji whispered, blushing in embarrassment. "I know how much Shorter likes it." He shifted out the way so that Shorter can see and ended up wrapping his arms around his neck from behind. Meanwhile, the purple hair male cooed when he saw it. He basically worshipped that cat.

"Bed, now", Eiji commanded. "Can you stand?"

Garnet leapt into Shorter's arms, and he nodded. His partners helped him up and guided him to the bedroom and into the bed. Shorter yanked the shirt off and rest his face in his hands, while the grey tomcat skipped off somewhere. Eiji and Ash sat on either side of him and, with permission, hugged and kissed him, then dragged him down into the bed with them.

"How are you feeling, be honest", Ash whispered, intertwining their fingers.

"Better. Not great, but better."

Eiji played with his eyebrow piercing. "Will you tell us..." 

Shorter sucked his teeth. "I don't know why I feel this way, I felt terrible from yesterday and it only got worse today."

"Damn it babe, we shouldn't have left you home alone", Ash grimaced.

"I felt guilty because you guys worked after staying up all night me", Shorter mumbled, "And you're doing it again..." He rubbed his face with his hands,

"And we'd do it a hundred times above, because we love you", Eiji explained, kissing his cheek.

"You mean a hundred times over", Ash corrected, smirking at him. Garnet reappeared and made his bed on Ash's stomach.

Scowling, Eiji muttered, "Kon'ya, dare ga panpukinpai o tabete iru ka o suisoku shimasu."

"Shorter, translation", Ash asked, poking his purple haired boyfriend.

But if his heavy breathing was anything to go by, Shorter was fast asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, Shorter can't speak Japanese :)  
> To mess with Ash, he acts like he can and "translates" for Eiji, which the two then laugh over later.
> 
> Watashi wa anata ga katta kayui zubon o chakuyō suru koto o kyohi shimasu - _Japanese_ I refuse to wear the itchy trousers you bought.
> 
> Rì chū - _Chinese_ Sunrise.
> 
> Kon'ya, dare ga panpukinpai o tabete iru ka o suisoku shimasu - _Japanese_ Guess who's getting pumpkin pie tonight.


End file.
